Today, I was facing a serious quandary on my way home from my first class. It was suffocating - the rain - as it always is. One of those atrocious days that bring out all the questions... I was desperately trying to answer my question of why in the world I am here, walking in this deranged weather, passing by many others whose faces reflect my own - acidic versions of walking drones of our capitalistically educated society, whose inner desires cannot possibly be fulfilled by this constant stream of the Americanized education system with all its biases, prejudices, slants, and stagnant theories. All to what end? To become fully contributing walking drones, efforting toward fitting ourselves into the puzzle, with our own biases, prejudices, slants, and stagnant theories. And suddenly, it all drifted away... no more students, no more classes, no more Americanized standardized education, no more rain, no more mushy leaves on the ground just waiting to victimize me in my untractioned flip-flops. I was free from expectations, responsibilities, and demands. I was free, in my hammock, next to the beach in Costa Rica. With pineapple, and iced tea. There I was, unconcerned with how our country will surely be on the way to an immoral dire end if whosoever gets elected; unconcerned with the flaws in our economic structure that will unavoidably be present despite who is in charge; unconcerned with the necessity of me retaining employment, regardless of how much I hate it and everything it stands for; unconcerned with all of these peripheral notions of 'success', while I stand here sifting through it, trying to determine what 'success' actually is, and whether I can really find it in the midst of this world.
All that was there was the hammock and me, and endless blue skies. The world was mine! That is ultimate freedom and independence - a hammock and blue skies.
Of course, it was inevitable that my state of mind must return to what most call 'reality'. So here I am, coming to some extremely fragile conclusions of why I am here, and not in Costa Rica. If you wake up one day, and walk around for another couple days, and wonder why you haven't seen me in a while, then you'll know. Costa Rica is the place to be.